dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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