He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
