is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Randomize
