Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
