i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
