I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
