you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
