So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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