the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
