we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
two words: eviction party
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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