This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Panties = found
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