But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
