you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
