Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
