last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
