he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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