Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
that's an acceptable place to lick
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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