The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
