put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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