Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
