I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
