just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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