Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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