Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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