On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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