jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
