Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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