fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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