I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
