this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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