It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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