a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
