I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
