Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
