Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
