I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
