No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
