I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
