At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
