bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He is an equal opportunity slut.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
