you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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