why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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