you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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