If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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