there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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