i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
