Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This house was built for laser tag.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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