You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
