i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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