Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
