I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
